Life Was Never Meant to Be Easy – Especially for Parents.

This weekend I read in the newspaper about a married couple who were so overwhelmed with the behaviour of their 7yr old daughter, her mother expressed that she hated her and they were considering how they could put her into care!

Now I will not argue that parenting would have to be one of the most difficult, and in many instances, the most thankless challenge a person will undertake.  However, it would be really beneficial if before undertaking this challenge that ‘would be’ parents are not only prepared but willing to be committed to it.

Right from the start, I would like to point out that parenting in not just a 20year project, as some have suggested in the past. But it is a commitment for life – their life!

I’m not quite sure where the concept of “hopefulness” plays a part in parenting either. As it seems MANY, like the couple with the 7yr old, just HOPE that they will give birth to an all knowing, agreeable, co-operative and pleasant human being and they will innately understand their place in the scheme of things, for example; I’m the parent – you’re the child and comply!

Our children, from the day they are born – through to adolescents in particular (this is the 20yr part of it), require 100% commitment from you! It is not enough to spend a couple of hours at each end of the day and expect to have an amazing attachment and relationship with them, and this works both ways.

I am not going to speculate on the in’s and out’s of the above mentioned couples parenting skills but one thing is an absolute certainty – all children need time, attention, discipline, guidance and most of all love from YOU- the parents  (and not just quality child care).

How do I know this? At present I work with 24 adolescents who have been deemed as highly at risk of;  not completing school, engaging in risky behaviour, drug and alcohol abuse, not engaging in employment, not behaving in a sociably acceptable manner and are most likely to be incarcerated! And I know they are difficult children to love too!

And yet, even at this late stage of their “parenting” (because that’s what I am in fact really paid to do); I have seen the most remarkable results! But this has been through hard work, establishing trust, reasonable boundaries…yes boundaries, discipline when required, and above all - time and love – and yes I do love them most of the time: ).

So parents turn it around! There is so much talk and emphasises on investing in our future financially and environmentally and it is true that life is not easy….. but what we really need to do is invest in our children –just sayin’