Relationships…… One Thing I Don’t Get!!!

Now just to clarify, I do know a little about some things…but after having already lived half my life, there is one thing I have not got my head around; and that’s relationships! The evidence of this is that I have been single for over 12years now, so whatever I am doing..ain’t working!


While I do get that quantum physics demonstrates that quantum equations describe something that is real and out there. And instead of thinking that a photon takes a single straight path through space, we can regard it as taking all possible paths through space, and adding the amplitudes for every possible path... I get that!


I also get that apart from the fact that it looks really pretty, the science and significance of studying the human genome will go a long way in helping us understand how it is we work...I get that!


I also understand, that now is not the time to experiment with Nash’s Game Theory in the forum of economics, as in this current economic climate nobody can win...I get that!


And I have also finally just been able to figure out how to use most of the features on my mobile phone..

But I knew I was really in trouble when I had sent an email to a male friend of mine, when up popped an ‘add’ that said (based on key words typed in my doc.) “Relationship Killers: 8 Things You Should Never Say”!!! Well it was that moment of 'truth' that made me realise I was not going to figure this one out on my own.

So I consulted some online “Relationship Guru’s” and here in part is what they had to say:

“Have you ever taken the time to sit down and really and truly picture and imagine what it must be like to be an attractive and ‘masculine’ man?”

Well of course I had to admit I never had and was concerned that the feeling had never occurred to me!!!..(LOL).

Another “Guru” explains;

“why women have had the experience of feeling like they've finally found something "real" with a man, and sharing themselves both emotionally AND physically, only to have him suddenly PULL AWAY. Very best tips and secrets for creating a deep and lasting attraction inside your man are here: It all comes down to understanding just a “few” (italics mine) important things about men”!

OK, but yet another ‘Guru’ says:

“After years of research, and talking to hundreds of both men and women about what is important to them in a loving, connected relationship… I’ve found that there are 5 things a woman MUST understand in order to make a man feel those special feelings for her”…

And again he states: “This motivated me to spend the last few years studying, researching, and observing to build a clear map and picture of how attraction works---in both the short AND long term---so that I could share my understanding and help others”.

Now I figured that if it took this GUY, years of studying and research to understand other guy’s, what hope do I really have..???

And just when I was beginning to get my head around all of this I’m warned:

“Lots of male behaviors are actually harmless displays of male “resistance” and withdrawal to deep connection and true intimacy, but they’re only harmless IF a woman knows what these are and isn’t freaked out by them”….Huh???

And then I’m consoled with yet more research on the part of another ‘Guru’:

“And now… after several years of research and conversations with men, women, dating experts, scientists, and everything else in between… I’m pleased to say I’ve FINALLY figured it out…Did you know that a man can express affection, caring, generosity, and act “loving” without having
ANY IDEA as to whether or not he wants to be with a woman in the future”?

Is it just me??? And on that note I will give up!

What all their expertise and advice boiled down to was that when you are seeking a relationship with
a man..you have to be deceptive, fake, play hard to get, don’t show any emotional need or intimacy, tell him you are in other relationships (even if you are not)..and whatever happens under NO circumstances use the terms ‘we’ or ‘us’ or the “L” word…!!!

And all along I was thinking that a relationship was about finding someone you can talk to, be yourself, trust, be honest, plan a future, want to only be with them and dare I say love…I am obviously way off track..just sayin’